The Daily Special 9.13.10

Greetings and glad tidings! I was told today that I looked beautiful which boosted my confidence and prompted me to make a mental note that daily showering and mascara are good investments. Such is the life of a law student -- my standards of beauty and socially acceptable hygiene are so low after two years that a swipe of lip gloss transforms me back to a mildly attractive human being.

• In that vein, check out this self-esteem booster. "Does this J.D. make my ass look fat?"

• The U.S. will ban mouthy teenagers, but drug mules are still OK.

• Space Aliens v. The Pope -- It's all fun and games until God starts smiting you.

• Democrats putting their midterm hopes in...Justin Bieber?

• SkyNet is coming.