Shiny Special Life

Europe gets smart

2011-11-15T13:05:00.000-08:00

The EU has announced that it is banning from its airports the

x-ray scanners that are currently deployed throughout

the U.S. “in order not to risk jeopardizing citizens’ health and safety.”

When will our government wise up?

Unemployed JD, Part 1

2011-09-06T18:05:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, I returned to "reality" from a particularly adventurous visit to my parents' house in the woods of Northern Michigan (look for the forthcoming post).

On Sunday, faced with the prospect of eating granola and water for the next couple days, I headed out to find edible things on a budget. I ended up getting a couple week’s worth of groceries for $40 and change.

For the first time in 7 years, I bought Ramen, and I prepared myself for many meals of peanut butter and jelly. I did spring for the whole grain bread, though, in an attempt to get even scant nutritional value.

This is my new ShinySpecialLife. As an unemployed JD.

I have no job, I have no job prospects, I don’t even have a job interview on the horizon. I also have only enough cash in my account to make it through maybe another month (this one) and loan payments coming due on my legal education.

Stay tuned for the tears and the tales.

The contents of my fridge Sunday morning.

I'm pretty sure that applesauce expired in 2009.

Final "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2" Trailer!!

2011-06-17T08:14:00.000-07:00

It's not just for GAYS anymore!

2011-06-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

While most of America was watching what just may be the last enjoyable sporting event of the year (PS Go Mavs!), others were watching the Tonys.

I'm not sure Neil Patrick Harris' opening number reinforced his point, but it's FAAAAB-U...er, awesome.

How much do I love NPH?

So, so much!

So, so, so, so much!

Dear Delta, this sucks.

2011-06-08T07:48:00.000-07:00

Fix it.

It's hard out there for a pimp

2011-06-06T10:54:00.001-07:00

The California Supreme Court has decided that the state law that criminalizes encouraging someone to go into prostitution also prohibits you from suggesting prostitutes "expand their business opportunities."

In other words, all hos are bound to a state-imposed non-compete clause.

Official opinion: here.

America's Yo-Yo Diet

2011-06-06T08:17:00.001-07:00

This economy is rebounding like a champ.

Half of last month's new jobs came from a single employer:

McDonald's.

pen·al·ty • noun /ˈpenltē/

2011-06-02T22:24:00.000-07:00

President Obama's Solicitor General finally spoke truth this week about the administration's healthcare reform law when he suggested that people who wanted to avoid the mandate could do so by choosing to earn less money.

Let that sink in for a moment.

"It’s a penalty on earning a certain amount of income and self insuring."

Solicitor General Neal Kumar Katyal defending the healthcare mandate

Just so we're clear, the government's STATED aim here is to discourage people from helping themselves as they would by seeking higher education and well-paying jobs, and choosing insurance plans that fit their needs and the needs of their families.

Are you pissed off yet?

Who doesn't love a good Montana joke?

2011-05-31T19:19:00.000-07:00

The guys at PandaSmashTV put out some great stuff, and this time they put together 50 State Stereotypes in 2 minutes. Though, I wonder which uncorrupt Illinois politician they're referring to.

Led Zeppelin meets Trent Reznor

2011-05-31T15:13:00.000-07:00

I cannot get over how awesome this cover of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" is! Produced by Oscar-winners [!!!] Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, and sung by Karen O from Yeah Yeah Yeahs, it accompanies the equally amazing red-band trailer for the English-language adaptation of Steig Larsson's "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" (starring Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara).

Like most things, I highly recommend you check out the originals: song, book, and Swedish-language movie -- Noomi Rapace has big piercings to fill. But, I'm not hating these updates.

And, to the DOJ: I didn't shoot the video, so don't come after me.

Topsy Turvy World

2011-05-31T08:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Westboro Baptist "Church":

What does it say about your organization when the KKK has the moral high ground?

"It's the soldier that fought and died and gave them that right to free speech," said Dennis LaBonte, the self-described "Imperial Wizard" of the KKK group that he said he formed several years ago.

Who needs a drink?

It's science!

2011-05-26T08:30:00.001-07:00

Science just wouldn't be complete without a study

on Jell-O wrestling in the South Pole.

I wonder which members of the appropriations committees

volunteered themselves or their interns as test subjects.

Also granted National Science Foundation dollars (i.e., your taxes):

YouTube rap video

Robot hoedown and rodeo

Shrimp. On. Treadmills.

*Bonus points to the reader who can send me a link to the YouTube rap video.

Do you feel me?

2011-05-26T08:05:00.000-07:00

The Texas legislature caved under federal pressure and pulled their anti-groping bill.

The bill, HB1937 would have made it a crime for security personnel to touch a person's private areas without probable cause, effectively putting a stop to the invasive -- and offensive -- TSA pat downs in Texas airports.

The Department of Justice responded by threatening

to shut down flights to and from the state.

The epitaph on the Fourth Amendment will read:

All I wanted was a little probable cause.

Starting the New Year with optimism

2011-01-10T14:22:00.000-08:00

After a fairly dramatic end to an entirely too dramatic 2010, I ran in the new year with very little panache. In fact, I think I was reading a book on my parents' couch with the dog in my lap when the clock struck midnight in Springfield, Illinois. I went to bed shortly thereafter.

You might think, "Gone are the days of excitement and intrigue. Where are thou, Shiny Special Life?" But, nay! 2011 is going to be an incredible year in my life, and I'm really looking forward to what's in store:

My final semester of law school includes a seminar in Video Game Law and a lecture on Sports Law. That's right, folks! I'm going to be talking football all year and discussing the myriad of legal issues surrounding games like Halo, Grand Theft Auto, and Call of Duty. Suck it, tax law!

I graduate in 123 days. 'Nuff said on that.

I turn 30 in June, and we all know that 30 is the new black/is the new 20/is some clichéd trend to make women feel like they're not old. I'm stoked about 30! I feel like I learned a lot about my self in my 20s, and I'm already thoroughly enjoying a grab-life-by-the-balls, take-no-ish era that comes with self-awareness and confidence.

I take the California Bar exam in July. This both thrills and terrifies me. It's a beast of a test and there's a lot of preparation yet to do, but I'm going to approach it with the same determination that sent me on my path to law school in the first place.

In addition to these milestones, I'm really excited to be supporting my friends as they move forward in their professional and personal lives. Some I've known for 10+ years, others less than 2, but I'm surrounded by incredibly ambitious and daring people who will be taking steps, big and small, this year in their lives. They've blessed me with their words of encouragement, their wisdom, and their companionship, and I can't wait to pick up the pom-poms -- and sometimes the check -- to help them physically, mentally, emotionally, intellectually, metaphorically, metaphysically, etc.

Raise a glass with me to 2011, and prepare yourself for fantastic things to come. Slàinte mhòr agad!

BOOK REVIEW: "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro

2011-01-02T21:58:00.000-08:00

I had an ambitious reading list for the winter break between semesters, and this one wasn't initially on it. But, I kept hearing my friend Irene's voice in my head urging me to read "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro. In fact, she insisted that I read it before I saw the movie, which was my original intention.

I am now tremendously grateful for her advice.

That is not to say that the movie adaptation screwed the pooch -- it really didn't. In fact, the adaptation is one of the most faithful I've seen, with only very minor plot changes and worthy cuts to the length of certain sections of the story.

But, the voice of the narrator in the book is so much more powerful than in the movie. In the book, we are looking at the story solely from Kathy's perspective, a fact of which she reminds the reader frequently. And Kathy is a flawed character, not immune to bias and certainly not omniscient. The movie retains that lack of omniscience, but you get far more of a sense of being an observer outside the story than you do as if you were seeing the events from Kathy's eyes and ears. Changing from first- to third-person perspective is always a little jarring, though not necessarily detrimental to the story overall.

That being said, both the book and the movie affected me profoundly (as you may have guessed since I have now been spurred to write about it). It's been a long time since a fiction novel so moved me -- I think the last 15 pages of Ian McEwan's "Atonement" were the last to reward my rapt attention with such a gut punch.

If you haven't read the book or seen the movie, 1) shame on you, and 2) there be some potential spoilers ahead, but I've done my best to keep my observations vague.

This is an incredible novel for book clubs because it is rich with themes to explore. The first very obvious theme has to to with medical and technological ethics. Certainly, this novel provides a fertile field for countless lofty discussions in this arena, but they would all be conducted in the abstract. In fact, I would love to get into a comparison of what it means to be human between this novel and Cormac McCarthy's "The Road."

That's all well and great and tends to make people feel like cigar-smoking intellectuals, but this novel is also deeply personal and deserves some attention to the themes closer to the heart and hearth.

The one theme I keep coming across in discussion circles is that of nature vs. nurture. The children in the book are brought up in a very fatalist environment; their lives are set and there is no need, indeed no encouragement of deep philosophical reflection. Human history, though, is rife with radical individuals who buck the status quo and start asking those questions. Tommy is clearly the closest character to meet this description, but yet he succumbs quietly. And, it's entirely possible that Kathy was simply going along with Tommy's quest knowing full-well the outcome having already resigned herself to it.

Another point I considered is the cycle of a life. When your life is so short, what are the stages of growth and maturity? People today generally have 70-80 years to consider their own mortality, and most would put it off until those last few. The characters in the book get to this acceptance very early in their lives, or perhaps they just never question it (going back to a nature vs. nurture discussion), and it's so painfully tragic to experience through Kathy's observations and Tommy's reactions because their nature -- or their learned submission, depending on how you view it -- is so out of sync with our own.

That's all I really want to say about it because I really don't want to ruin anything for anyone who wants to read the book or see the movie. But I do have to close this note with my favourite passage. The words are Tommy's, as recalled by Kathy. The imagery is beautiful and succinct, and it breaks my heart.

"I keep thinking about this river somewhere, whit the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the ends it's just too much. The current's too strong. They've got to let go, drift apart. That's how I think it is with us. It's a shame, Kath, because we've loved each other all our lives. But in the end, we can't stay together forever."

Who needs a tissue?

It's gonna be alright

2010-11-14T19:25:00.000-08:00

My boss gave me an interesting research and writing assignment, and I've been geeking-out over it ever since. Even though I don't want to spend the rest of my life practicing in this particular field of law, I love the problem-solving aspect of the project, which is universal to every law practice.

Two and a half years into my legal education, a mountain of debt equivalent to the GDP of a small Chinese province, and I'm finally feeling like I'll actually enjoy being a lawyer.

Thank God. I was beginning to panic.

Cray-Cray for Caprica

2010-10-23T00:02:00.001-07:00

I've been watching "Caprica," the prequel to "Battlestar Galactica," and had an opportunity to go to a fan preview at Universal Studios earlier this month. They showed an awesome recap of the first season that I've been scouring the Net for ever since.

Found it!

Enjoy, and watch "Caprica" Tuesday nights on SyFy at 10 p.m.

The Daily Special 9.13.10

2010-09-13T16:46:00.000-07:00

Greetings and glad tidings! I was told today that I looked beautiful which boosted my confidence and prompted me to make a mental note that daily showering and mascara are good investments. Such is the life of a law student -- my standards of beauty and socially acceptable hygiene are so low after two years that a swipe of lip gloss transforms me back to a mildly attractive human being.

In that vein, check out this self-esteem booster. "Does this J.D. make my ass look fat?"

The U.S. will ban mouthy teenagers, but drug mules are still OK.

Space Aliens v. The Pope -- It's all fun and games until God starts smiting you.

Democrats putting their midterm hopes in...Justin Bieber?

SkyNet is coming.

Attack of the Cute!

2010-06-25T18:51:00.000-07:00

I can't get enough of this kid, Agnes, from the upcoming "Despicable Me."

She's the only reason I'm going to see this movie.

Californians: Bypass Doom

2010-06-20T17:03:00.000-07:00

Band of Skulls: Honest [Acoustic]

2010-05-20T17:33:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard of this band, you obviously haven't spent more than 5 minutes around me. My love for Band of Skulls runs deep, and this acoustic performance of "Honest" is just evidence of why. Watch it! Love it!

Bring me tasty brains, er, tacos

2010-05-18T23:20:00.000-07:00

There's a great little taco shack down the street from my apartment where I love to indulge my cravings for fire-roasted, seasoned banana peppers and my obsession of heaping fresh pico de gallo on anything and everything. Tonight was Taco Tuesday, and the joint was jumping.

Much to my surprise, there was an attractive new cook slinging the tortillas (thank you very much, Arizona) with whom I locked eyes upon entering. My crippling shyness forced me to quickly look away lest I be caught ogling someone a few rungs higher than I on the attractiveness ladder.

But then from deep within, -- probably from the more extroverted twin I absorbed in utero -- I mustered up some self-confidence (cajones, since I was at a taco stand) and decided to return his gaze.

So, dear reader, I looked him in the eye. And smiled.

He quickly looked back down at his tortillas.

Dejected, I took my carnitas, my peppers, and my vat of pico de gallo back to my little apartment down the street...

...Where I caught sight of myself in the mirror and remembered that I woke up looking like an extra from Dawn of the Dead.

Mmmm...pico de gallo...on brains.

Attack of the Cute!

2010-05-18T23:14:00.000-07:00

Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.

Everyone, together now: AWWWWWW!

Shut up, you love it!

2010-04-27T15:08:00.000-07:00

Yeah, you do!

Desperately Seeking Shoes

2010-04-27T14:54:00.000-07:00

Second year of law school has been insane.

I have a week off before finals, so I'm resurrecting the blog with this gem of a video taken at Coachella last weekend (not by me, grumble grumble). Enjoy!

The ways we amuse ourselves

2010-02-23T23:32:00.000-08:00

Two questions:

1) What would you do with yourself if stranded at the airport for 10 hours?

2) How big of a laugh do you think airport security got watching this chick?

Is it the hair or the dress?

2010-02-19T13:14:00.000-08:00

Oh, Lordy! Elton John told Britain's Sun that Jesus was gay.

Pass the popcorn, the holy wars are about to start.

The New Leash Kids

2010-02-03T19:11:00.001-08:00

Photo Credit: Quirky China News/Rex Features

China's answer to the leash kids.

Yes, he's chained to a pole.

Chained.

To a pole.

Coolest little kid. EVAH!

2010-01-15T19:57:00.000-08:00

Is your five-year-old this awesome?

Really, Olympics? Really?

2009-12-10T23:45:00.001-08:00

Perhaps we all have dirty minds, but c'mon London. Really?

Baby, it's cold outside

2009-12-08T10:29:00.000-08:00

We may not have snow here in L.A., but that doesn't mean our toes don't freeze.

The Real Sunset Strip

2009-12-06T00:34:00.000-08:00

Credit: Ann Johansson for The New York Times

The Sunset Strip is my home away from home out here in L.A. The New York Times ran a fantastic article this week on Nic Adler, The Roxy and the revitalization of the music scene on the Strip.

Also, I recently discovered a UStream show called The Real Sunset Strip hosted by Lauren Scheff and The Hawk, which is the next best thing to actually being there. Tonight, Mark McGrath, Nylon Pink, Purple Melon (check them out at High Voltage Sunday!), Anyshka, David Faustino (Bud from "Married with Children"), and Lacey from VH1's "Rock of Love" stopped by for a chat.

Check it out Saturday nights from 10PM to midnight.

And, keep up with all these awesome Strip people on Twitter,

God's gift to the computer-bound.

Nic Adler

The Roxy

The Real Sunset Strip

High Voltage

Attack of the Cute!

2009-11-30T20:10:00.001-08:00

My sister sent me this to brighten my day.

"Stop name-dropping, shadow!"

2009-11-25T16:20:00.000-08:00

Suzi Barrett's love letter to Los Angeles. NSFW!

We live in two different worlds

2009-10-21T14:06:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that China has tight reins on the internet that their citizens see, but most don't realize that the contrast between our internet and theirs is so stark.

Do a search on the U.S. version of Google Images for "Tiananmen," and this is the first result you get.

Do a search on the Chinese version of Google Images for "Tiananmen," and this is the first result you get.

Further search through the Chinese results turns up no images similar to the ones we in America would find.

Understandably, the Chinese government may be embarrassed by the images of the massacre, as most governments would be of their shameful pasts. But do do a quick search for "American slavery" and you'll come up with some pretty honest and harrowing images.

Ain't Democracy great?

Don't cry, Emo Guy

2009-10-21T11:33:00.000-07:00

"No ifs, no buts -- the worst man, period...As a class we are in fact the sorriest cohort of masculine Homo sapiens to ever walk the planet."

Anthropologists say modern man is a wimp. What say you, Unicorn Knight?

Introducing...the Utera Maxima

2009-10-19T17:51:00.000-07:00

No...really. It can be yours for $48.00.

Waking The Dead

2009-09-29T19:53:00.000-07:00

I was one of the lucky 2500-ish people who scored tickets to Bon Iver's sunrise show at the Hollywood Forever cemetery in the heart of Los Angeles on Sunday morning.

Movie Buffed's Casey and I made our way through the headstones around 1:30AM and parked our beer, fruit, nuts, Cheetohs, and blankets on the cold, wet grass. We shivered our way through the next 4 hours, alternating between sleeping, watching Bottle Rocket, getting kicked in the head, and practicing our campground hovers in the Port-a-Potties.

We sat up to the sounds of Buddhist monks chanting -- an odd sound, indeed -- but I figured I could sleep my way through any good blessings.

Finally, as the sky was turning pink and as the marine layer was starting to lift, Bon Iver took the stage and performed a 70-minute set.

The music itself wasn't the most amazing part of the 7 hours we spent that night in the cemetery, though, don't get me wrong, it was great. But, it was the incredible experience we had with thousands of others, socializing, snoozing, laughing, and singing for one night with strangers all brought together by a love for live music. It was like getting a taste of what Woodstock must have been like -- a music experience unsullied by the commercialization of today's outdoor festivals.

Check out the videos below of the evening. There are many more on YouTube. If you couldn't be there, do a quick search. If you were, relive the awesomeness. Read reviews of the show here at LAist or in the LA Times.

Bon Iver performs Skinny Love as dawn breaks.

Bon Iver closes the show with The Wolves (Act I and II).

Modern foot-binding for Suri Cruise

2009-09-21T14:47:00.000-07:00

The 3-year-old can't run away if she's in heels.

The Daily Special 9.21.09

2009-09-21T14:19:00.000-07:00

Oh, it's been a while since I've done one of these. Sorry. Can't promise it'll hold out all week, either. Law school. Ass-kicking. Name-taking. It's all very time-consuming.

Don't tase me, bro. Mississippi police take down a wayward emu. Yes, emu.

"The Office" is back, and it's on Hulu! PARKOUR! PARKOUR!

The tracks on the soundtrack for the upcoming New Moon have finally been revealed. I'd like to take this moment to slap Stephanie Meyer and the series' bat-shit crazy fans for associating with some of my favourite bands.

Just how much pot does one put in the brownies to create a Matrix-style sense of bullet time and death?

PeTA's got some vegan candy for you, little girl

2009-09-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

I'd like to punish this stupidity by eating a 32oz. steak.

Way to go, PeTA.

I'm Too Sexy

2009-09-15T15:03:00.000-07:00

Snuggies showed up on the catwalk at New York Fashion Week.

I weep for this nation.

Say You're Sorry

2009-09-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, Interwebz! You have endlessly creative lovers.

One of them slapped together this gem: "The Kanye West Apology Generator."

P.S. How much do I love that Taylor Swift towers over him in that pic? THIS much!

RIP Patrick Swayze

2009-09-14T17:19:00.001-07:00

Patrick Swayze succumbed to pancreatic cancer at age 57. So sad.

R.I.P.

Friday Round-Up

2009-09-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

This has been a week from hell, which is why The Daily Special suddenly was not so daily nor special. So, I bring to you my Friday Round-Up -- a bunch of things I might have posted had I been joyfully assing around in class rather than making my school earn every penny of its outrageous tuition. Enjoy!

Head over to The Top 13 Albums Project and submit your nominations for the top 13 albums of the decade. I will be posting my list here soon for you all to consider and copy. DEADLINE is October 2!

I have a naughty habit of going to great lengths to get TinySpecialFriend (she loves little people/midgets, whichever you prefer) to crack up in our Evidence class. The effort came back to bite me in the ass this week when I found this little DIY gadget on the interwebz and we both had our heads on the desks crying with silent laughter, trying not to get caught. It's what you get for the guy who has everything...including foreskin.

For anyone looking to stock up on unique deadly weapons, I direct you to a list of 7 items you won't believe are actually legal.

Emails From Crazy People is a great site, but I just came across this gem of a "Not A Stalker" letter, and it reminds me a little of Dimitri, the perfect guy and his phone message. These guys know how to charm a lady.

This Durex commercial was banned in Europe. I just love the squeaky sound effects.

Lookin' for some law school lovin'

2009-09-06T22:34:00.000-07:00

My roommate mistakenly thought I posted this missed connections ad on CraigsList, but I laughed too hard to not give it its due publicity.

P.S. The argument needs some finessing.

The Daily Special 9.4.09

2009-09-04T18:06:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday, everyone!

Congratulations to "Paul" who swam from Catalina to Palos Verdes overnight! I admire this guy because I've wanted to get into marathon swimming for a while.

I'd been seeing this mentioned a lot, so my curiosity took over and I was thoroughly squicked. Uhm...yay for the environment, but no. Just...no.

Speaking of idiotic products...I now know just what to get that special guy for his birthday.

Give it up for the Sunset Strip! Who's with me for the StripCrawl on Tuesday night?

Aaaand, this is what I'll be watching all weekend. Love me some Ari Gold.

The Daily Special 9.3.09

2009-09-03T15:41:00.000-07:00

Some people are just too special for words. I weep for the youth of America.

And then when they get to college, this is what they pay for. I really shouldn't knock it. I totally would have wasted an elective on the class.

But, then I would probably have ended up like this guy.

Or the dude who wasted his herb on a fundraiser.

I'm really hoping to end up like these women, though. RAWR!

Shit My Dad Says

2009-09-02T10:11:00.000-07:00

The LA Times did a nice profile of Justin Halpern, the guy behind the Twitter page "Shit My Dad Says" who posts quotes from his hilarious, cranky, retired father. Follow Justin @shitmydadsays.

The Daily Special 9.2.09

2009-09-02T09:24:00.000-07:00

I saw this article about a pantless man harassing a horse (yes, I said pantless and horse), and all I could think of was that disturbing indie doc Zoo.

Speaking of not sexy...

Well, it takes a village, doesn't it?

Just in case you wanted to know: milk drinking started around 7,500 years ago in Central Europe. True facts.

I don't understand a word in this video, but I know when to laugh in any language.

LA County Fires

2009-09-01T18:56:00.000-07:00

Image: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images via New York Times

Check out Brandon Riza's site for a time lapse video of the LA County wildfires.

The Daily Special 9.1.09

2009-09-01T10:44:00.000-07:00

It's September. How did I miss April?

My state is still on fire. Prayers and love for the families, friends, and firefighting emergency personnel out there battling the blaze.

Which annoying type are you? My favourite: "The Bad Grammarian. "So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippe". Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm. But you sound like a moron."

The tools of modern justice are the same tools that hold your plumbing together.

Big pimpin' in aisle 3.

This kid really loves his bacon.

The Mouse Takes On Marvel

2009-08-31T10:03:00.000-07:00

Big news in the comic book world. Disney to acquire Marvel.

Not sure how I feel about this yet. Thoughts?

The Daily Special 8.31.09

2009-08-31T07:06:00.001-07:00

OK, gonna try to get back to the daily routine here. Fun tidbits below. Enjoy!

Since when are English muffins considered junk food? And P.S., taxing breakfast is not going to make me skinny.

The ultimate recycling: illegal home conversion.

This is why the terrorists hate us. Ugh...even I hate us after reading that headline.

Look ma! My internet obsession is actually good for me!

Who doesn't love a foreign prankster?

Band of Skulls Tonight!

2009-08-30T18:40:00.000-07:00

I am headed to check out the amazing British group Band of Skulls at Detroit Bar in Costa Mesa tonight. If you haven't yet heard of them, check out their MySpace page and their single "I Know What I Am."

Power Tripping

2009-08-30T11:36:00.000-07:00

I don't trust our government to efficiently screw in a light bulb, so I certainly don't think it should have anything to do with policing the internet. But that's just what Congress wants to allow the president to do.

The President. One man. With the power to control our access to information and communication. Think it'll never happen?

S.773 drafted by Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D-WV) appears to permit the president to seize temporary control of private-sector networks during a so-called cybersecurity emergency.

First and foremost, I want to know exactly what constitutes a "cybersecurity emergency." I can not think of a single doomsday scenario that would justify turning any region of the United States into Burma, even temporarily.

This is bad news.

RIP Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein

2009-08-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

Found dead in his NYC apartment this morning. Age 36. RIP.

EDIT: Adding this image of The Viper Room's marquee, changed to honor DJ AM.

Follow The Viper Room on Twitter @theVIPERroom.

Kurt Cobain Lives on Guitar Hero 5

2009-08-27T17:23:00.001-07:00

According to Rolling Stone, Activision has announced that Guitar Hero players will be able to take on the characters of Kurt Cobain, Johnny Cash, Jimi Hendrix, Matt Belamy of Muse, and Shirley Manson in Guitar Hero 5. I'm geeked!

No. Just...no.

2009-08-27T16:00:00.000-07:00

This news about a Kings of Leon remix album just makes me want to punch babies.

P.S. Follow Paste Magazine on Twitter @PASTEmagazine.

Movie News: I Want To Believe

2009-08-27T15:53:00.001-07:00

Gillian Anderson is hinting at a possible third X-Files movie. The second one kinda sucked. Can Chris Carter redeem himself with a third?

New Take On Getting Fried

2009-08-27T14:50:00.000-07:00

Get your chicke...er, marijuana. Read the story behind this KFC in Palms, CA.

Mind The Gap

2009-08-25T22:46:00.001-07:00

Taking some down time from the blog to figure out how to juggle this crazy schedule. Lord, beer me strength.

Bad News For Working Moms

2009-08-22T16:04:00.001-07:00

Las Vegas has an unemployment rate of 13.1%.

Movie News: Avatar 3D Technology

2009-08-22T15:41:00.000-07:00

The geek in me is just drooling over the deets of how James Cameron filmed Avatar. Its success at the box office will likely matter less than the success of the technology.

Attack of the Cute

2009-08-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

That's a baby panda! Two weeks old! Yawning! OMG!

Watch more at the San Diego Zoo's Panda Cam page.

Edit: Yes, I continued watching for another hour and caught this image, too.

Shut up, you love that little fuzzball!

Movie News: Machete!

2009-08-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

We got a fake teaser in those 70s-era Grindhouse trailers before Planet Terror, but now it's becoming reality. Robert Rodriguez has been working on his script for Machete and it looks like Robert De Niro and...Lindsay Lohan (WTF?) will be starring. I'm willing to overlook La Lohan because I'm betting she gets hacked and slashed after showing her ta-tas. And, I have a deep abiding love for Danny Trujo.

The Daily Special 8.21.09

2009-08-21T14:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday, all y'all!

Oh, how much do I love Quentin for including Team America and Shaun of the Dead on his list of top 20 movies since 1992? Thiiiiiiiiis much!

It's like a real-life version of Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego?

Law students take notice! If you time it right, credit card fraud pays off.

Mexico makes itself the new haven for stoners and addicts!

Here's your Friday moment of Zen.

Movie News: Avatar Trailer

2009-08-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

Check out the trailer. So far, I'm hearing a lot of comparisons to FernGully. Thoughts?

The Daily Special 8.20.09

2009-08-20T00:35:00.000-07:00

I will be at the Franz Ferdinand show, but by all means, don't let my disdain for child molesters stand in the way of you enjoying a free night with Jimmy Kimmel and R Kelly.

"We're getting married!" Serial scarlet lady finally nabs her man after breaking up his marriage (and 3 others). What a brazen hussy.

Really, Honda? You didn't think to make your cars tornado-proof? Well, that's just shockingly negligent.

This guy went backpacking through Europe, and all he got was this stalker-ish harpy of an ex-girlfriend.

Where's my Emmy?!?!?!

I'm A Winner!

2009-08-19T15:37:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love Filter Magazine for their awesome reads, but today I love them even more because they hooked me up with tickets to Franz Ferdinand's show at the Hollywood Palladium on August 27.

Follow Filter on Twitter @FILTERmagazine.

Taking ShinySpecialCarWashingScampiMakingMusicLovingBestFriend to the show as a thanks for all her love and support during our first year of law school. And for introducing me to Flogging Molly at the Palladium almost one year ago!

New Imogen Heap

2009-08-19T10:23:00.001-07:00

I have heard Imogen Heap's new album, Ellipse, and I hereby re-profess my love for her and her music. It hits stores and iTunes on August 25th.

The Daily Special 8.19.09

2009-08-19T09:46:00.000-07:00

As if Hollywood didn't tear at the fabric of my childhood enough by doing a craptastic job on Transformers 2 this summer, The Smurfs movie is now casting.

I read Craigslist these days for the LOLZ and the occasional sweet, hopeful message of love in Missed Connections. I'd love to hear of anyone out there actually making a love connection off Craigslist so I'm gonna help y'all out. For any of you single lades, this guy seems like he deserves a shot. However, this guy decidedly does not. Oh, and be safe.

Yeah, I refuse to buy into the notion that my $5 Old Navy toe thongs can take me down when swine flu hasn't. But still, gross.

Electro-alternative Cali band I Will Never Be The Same has taken up Tuesday night residency at my favourite LA hang, The Viper Room. Check them out and stay for happy hour, 11PM-2AM.

Further evidence that all good things flow from Joss Whedon. If you haven't seen this video yet, here I am to make right your life. Watch it. Love it. Check out The Guild's YouTube series.

The Daily Special 8.18.09

2009-08-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

I spent the last five days romping around SoCal with ShinySpecialMama and ShinySpecialBabySister before Baby Sis starts her senior year of high school. My apologies for the lack of your Daily Special. I know all three of you were starving. Anywho, bottoms up.

RIP Robert Novak.

Billy Corgan continues to be douchey by doing a series of small venue shows at large venue prices. Who pays $30 for what is essentially a Pumpkins cover band? Bring back Iha and D'Arcy!

Admission to the LA Arboretum is free today!

Speaking of free, who wants to see the Cold War Kids with me this Friday?

Because I love to hate it and so do you, here is the recently released trailer for New Moon.

The Daily Special 8.12.09

2009-08-12T18:29:00.000-07:00

Ding DONG! Is your unexpected visitor wearing pants?

At about 10AM, my neighbour took his domestic dispute to the front lawn and started dropping F-bombs like he was battling SkyNet.

This is what happens when idiots get funding.

Speaking of stupid products, weren't we all thinking this when the Snuggie hit the market?

Even better -- The Snugger.

The Daily Special 8.11.09

2009-08-11T09:46:00.000-07:00

Need more evidence that people are not even remotely conscientious consumers of media? FOX just picked up OctoMom's two-hour special.

Clearly, Angela Merkel has "more to offer" than her competition. Hey, baby! Flaunt 'em if you got 'em.

My So-Called Life is now on Hulu. Angela, Rayanne, and Ricky captured the bleeding hearts and tortured minds of early-to-mid 90s teens (including me) with their flannel, babydoll dresses, heavy eye liner, and bright red hair. This, of course, was back when Jared Leto was still amazingly hot and such a good leaner. The emo kids of today have nothing on the angst and apathy of the grunge era. It was so beautiful, it was painful. And yeah, we had a time.

Sometimes, I wish my blog, like my life, had a clear focus and purpose. Like the girl in Julie & Julia who had a goal of doing a new recipe per day. Or even the dude who runs this blog. He scours the news every day to find the craziest screw-ups. Then again, I do have a lot of TV to watch and food to eat, so where's the time?

Ever since a brief text conversation the other night with my friend, Adam, I've had this song stuck in my head. Enjoy!

The Daily Special 8.6.09

2009-08-06T10:35:00.000-07:00

Republican or Democrat, this is the kind of politics I can't support. If you lack the better argument, you use subtle deflection and reframe the issue. You don't incite fear and hatred.

Wanna know what kind of music mood I'm in on any given day? Check out my Blip.fm page or follow me on Twitter.

Because this blog is further evidence of why sterilization should be a condition of your probation.

Yes, Johnny Depp is finally on Hulu with Season 1 of "21 Jump Street," but as my friend Allison graciously reminded me, you're not cool if you don't already have the first three seasons on DVD.

I'm really excited about Bobby Long's show tonight and Marcus Foster's show tomorrow night. My chicas, Casey and Bri really hooked a bored and broke girl up. Enjoy the following Marcus Foster vid.

The Daily Special 8.5.09

2009-08-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

The news of Euna Lee and Laura Ling being released warms my cold, stone heart. Well done, Pres. Clinton, and welcome home!

I'm really excited these boys are getting the recognition they deserve. I pretty much despise the Twilight fandom and everything that has surrounded this mediocre series, but I love Bobby Long, Marcus Foster, and Sam Bradley's music, so I go see them play any chance I get. In fact, I will be at Hotel Café tomorrow and Friday night for Bobby's and Marcus' shows (respectively).

I was always a huge fan of Michael Crichton, and his passing was sad, indeed. His website, though, is still up and if you're a fan of his work, I'd suggest you check out some of his essays and speeches on topics ranging from genetics to dating.

Head on over to Sexy People to see some of the most outrageously gorgeous portraits, ev-ahhh! I challenge you to find my favourite.

This wild tirade is getting some attention from LAist. Personally, I love LA, and I don't think it can hold a candle to the meanness of Chicago. But people will get their panties in a wad over just about anything -- honking and tailgating, really? Someone gave you the finger? Horrors! What I find most humorous is the fact that his/her only base of comparison is what was surely a tourist experience in NYC. Hey, softy! Get over your break-up baggage and move your ass in that crosswalk, or I'm gonna start scowling in your general direction!

A Worthy Cause

2009-08-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

It warms my heart when celebrities use their status to support charitable causes. I'd like to highlight them for all four of my readers just so you know this is sruzbiznus.

This time, Canadian actress Rachelle LeFevre (Twilight, "Boston Legal", "What About Brian") is donating $100 for every 10,000 Twitter followers she gets and encouraging people to click the Pink Button to get corporate sponsorships for free mammograms. Follow Rachelle (@RachelleLeFevre) and check out her Susan G. Komen charity site.

The Daily Special 8.4.09

2009-08-04T07:58:00.000-07:00

I was so excited about this last week and I'm still excited. Twenty-six episodes of She-Ra are now available on Hulu! Someone promised me a BattleCat, and I'm going to make them deliver.

I don't know what everyone's so sad about, but the tally of Americans on anti-depression meds has shot up to nearly 27 million.

People are up in arms about Pres. Obama being portrayed as The Joker, saying it's "mean-spirited," but no one fussed when Drew Friedman did it to Pres. Bush. Perhaps it's the exhaustion after the effort spent on that self-righteous indignation that's got people so down.

In my personal opinion, former Pres. Bill Clinton has done more good out of office than he ever did in. So, I was happy to see that he's going to try to charm the North Korean government into releasing journalists Euna Lee and Laura Ling. Godspeed, sir!

I keep forgetting one or two at the end of this game.

Nanny State 911

2009-08-03T14:34:00.000-07:00

I was absolutely bowled over by this article coming out of the UK's Daily Express about the government expanding its use of "sin bins" for 20,000 of England's families enrolled in Family Intervention Projects.

Sin bins are private homes subject to closed circuit television monitoring to ensure kids are being raised right (sent to school, properly fed and disciplined). Parents and children sign a behaviour contract with the British government, and the government, in turn hopes/thinks the extra attention will reduce the number of kids getting involved in random delinquency and hard crime.

Aside from the obvious comparisons to Orwell's 1984 and the implications from such a widespread invasion of privacy, this is really just a by product of today's voyeuristic culture combined with the pervasive political apathy.

Imagine that. Britain, which has more CCTVs watching its people than the whole of Europe, has decided to take reality TV for the government employees to a whole new level. It's like the Dr. Phil House without the free counseling at the end of the rainbow.

Can't wait until they decide to make it pay per view to make some money off it.

These private eyes are watchin' you...B

The Daily Special 8.3.09

2009-08-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

Ever since my mom and my sister announced they were coming to visit me, and that we are going to the San Diego Zoo, I cannot get enough of the Zoo's critter cams. Keepers have webcams trained on the polar bears, the elephants, the apes, and, of course, the pandas. In fact, today the Zoo is celebrating the birthdays of Su Lin (4) and Zhen Zhen (2). Check out their rockin' ice cakes and the gifts they got in Tiffany-blue boxes.

My friend, Casey tricked me into watching this video, and now I can't get the song or the images out of my head. Further evidence that the Japanese are magical and weird.

Warwick Davis (Willow, Harry Potter, Leprechaun) recently joined Twitter. which makes me immensely happy. He put together Snape's iPod playlist. I would pay good money to see Alan Rickman rock out to "Barbie Girl."

Yeah, baby! It's Shark Week, again!

My life is made of win, Pt. 1

2009-05-03T20:58:00.001-07:00

First-year finals are sucking the marrow from my bones, so this update is just going to be tidbits from my ridiculous life -- musings and events over the past few weeks. Read them. Ponder them. Meditate on them. And, go to bed feeling superior because you didn't brain yourself on a drawer while doing push-ups. Yeah, I did.

I may have eaten a moldy tortilla. I make yummy veggie wraps. I was enjoying one recently when I noticed a blueish spot on the tortilla. I picked it off and finished the wrap. Shut up, I'm poor.

Last week I engaged in a slightly uncomfortable stand-off with a spider in the bathroom. Before I had the chance to notice his presence in the corner, I became momentarily occupied. I made a shaky peace pact with him, promising the I would not kill him if he didn't move from his spot on the wall. I grabbed him and flushed him immediately upon standing up. Better to be feared than loved.

I have recently begun getting emails from Plow & Hearth. I have no idea why. I don't even own a horse.

I discovered a new workout that makes me bust out my katana for choreographed movements to build balance and strength. I did a little fencing in college. This is nothing like fencing.

This website (Texts From Last Night) makes me laugh. And cry a little, because I know some of those submissions are from my friends.

My friend has decided that she's going to try to get pregnant during her second year of law school. I try not to look at her as if she's grown a second head. In fact, I think I would enthusiastically cheer a second head. It would definitely be more helpful in law school than a baby.

You should be watching Dollhouse Friday nights on FOX.

My voyeuristic squirrel has been mysteriously absent from the roof next door. I kinda miss him. I have notice a cat prowling that roof, though. If he doesn't show up in a week, I will avenge him.

I was shocked to find out that my local Wal-Mart doesn't have a gun section. Nor did it have roller-blades. What the fuckity fuck kind of Wal-Mart doesn't have guns and roller-blades?

Cheers...B

Hump Day Hype

2009-04-08T10:20:00.000-07:00

I'm going to start a tradition. Today is Hump Day which marks the halfway point of my week's worth of bad decisions. So, every Wednesday, I'm going to promote something that saves my ass on a regular basis. Hopefully, someone out there can learn from my poor judgment. Power through the learning curve.

Being a tremendous music snob, I like to go to live shows at smaller venues to see relatively unknown bands. A few weeks ago (here comes my shameless plug for good souds) I saw Hot Leg, and last night I saw The Hypo Twins for the second time. But the next morning, as I am picking up the mess of clothes that I just threw on the floor in my rush to get to bed, I notice the same smell emanating from the mountain of fabric: a mixture of my perfume, gin, smoke, and sometimes the Eau de Douchebag body spray of whatever lonely-heart was trying to air hump me on the dance floor.

So today, I am hyping laundry day.

-Because I am convinced that hot water heals all things.

-Because it gives you a chance to appreciate your neighbour's drug addiction when you have to lug your shit down the street to the laundromat because he's cracked open the coin bank again. Seriously, dude! I will pitch in a dollar a week and take up collection with the other tenants if you'll just leave the machine alone.

-Because it's like baptism without the tears and salvation. It washes away your sins (unless they're really, really bad), and makes your wardrobe feel new...ish.

-Because it reminds you that you're an adult and therefore, some parts of your life must suck.

-Because the long-sleeved, white blouse goes well with jeans and with your suit, but the bar stamp ink from your wrist is not part of the hire-me look.

-Because wiping down your clothes with dryer sheets is no longer a rung on the hygiene ladder. Shut up, I mourned its passing.

-Because it's only sexy to wear your boyfriend's jeans around the house. It's bad taste to wear them around the town.

-Because down-time waiting for the cycle to finish is a perfect excuse to catch up with trashy celebrity gossip.

-Because it gives you a chance to sing this awesome song:

So fresh and so clean clean...B

This is why I shun educational programming

2009-04-06T23:26:00.000-07:00

I spent Saturday night sitting at home alone on the couch watching television. The sad-sack is not my typical routine -- my sitting alone is usually a result of the social incapacitation of being buried under mountains of case law and the fear of failure. However, this weekend, I was recovering from a bout of Hantavirus, or bird flu, or SARS and my friends were not done shunning my contagious ass like the Amish kid who refused to come home from Rumpspringa.

As if I didn't feel bad enough about myself, what with the shunning and Saturday night loneliness, the Discovery Channel was there to gut-punch me with a two hour program titled "The Science of Sex Appeal."

NOTE: Science has not yet found a cure for cancer or solved the world hunger crisis, but it has pinpointed the essence of sexiness. Science has shit for priorities.

Since I'm always up for activities that will subtly chip away at the fragile self-esteem I spent two years in the gym building up, I sat down with a bottle of wine and a jar of Nutella and said, "Bring on the pain."

After telling me that my Yeti-like gait and husky alto are not at all attractive, and that my above-average height will cause men to question my estrogen count (I have assholes for genes), the very feminine-sounding and thereby likely skinny narrator told me that none of this matters...once every month.

Twat kind of fuckery do you speak of, Discovery Channel?

The pixie-like Austrian scientist eagerly told of these magic "copulants" that a woman gives off during ovulation that cause men who get a whiff to be rendered incapable of distinguishing the relative physical attractiveness of a large spectrum of women. That's right. For about two days out of the month, women are the walking equivalent of a dark bar, a rockin' jukebox, and free-flowing tequila.

Why hasn't The Vagina Monologues jumped on this? I can hear it now. Scripted between the group chant of words to which I've always been ambivalent and the horrifying soliloquy of the woman who accidentally impaled herself on a bedpost could be this masterpiece:

MY VAGINA IS A HOMING BEACON! It lures you in with my siren song. Breathe deep my seduction and perish upon my supple cliffs.

Oh My Jewish Carpenter! I was ready to forward this information and a few spontaneous girl-power haikus to my feminist friends (all two of them), but then I realized that this was not news worthy of celebration. This was one big cosmic joke on the female sex.

God the Father, who created mitochondria, who knows the square root of Pi, who designed the platypus, and who paints in TrueColor rather than 256 bit, couldn't make us all look like Angelina Jolie, so He decided to make men blind?

That's some bullshit right there!

After that, I decided to forgo the next Discovery Channel program -- and probably every other show on the Discovery Channel hereafter -- when the teaser promised to explore the anatomy of sex by voyeuristically watching two people doin' it in an MRI machine. For the sake of science, of course.

Fuck you, science!

I may now return to my regularly scheduled programming...B

Vegan, eh? Not that there's anything wrong with that...

2009-03-31T15:54:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple weeks, I've been transitioning to a vegan diet. However, I've been very reluctant to share this information with people, which may strike my friends as strange considering I have no compunction about labeling myself a Republican and a Jesus-lover (but I drink a little). The problem is, if I say I'm vegan, I usually get one of two reactions.

Ohhh! *sideways glance* Oh.

This is the reaction I got from my sister when she asked what I was having for dinner one night, followed the next day by a cordial email from my dad with the non sequitur "So, I hear you've gone vegan" nestled between casual questions about how school is going and if I'd found a job yet. I can just picture my mom standing in the kitchen with her coffee in-hand telling my dad, "I knew this would happen when she decided to move to California!"

ZOMG! IKR! Have you seen what they do to those poor chickens?!

No, I don't want to sign your petition. It's not that I don't care about the chickens, it's that...well, yeah, I don't care about the chickens. Or Natalie Portman and her line of hemp shoes. In fact, I'll risk gout eating a 64oz. steak and a side of foie gras if it'll send Ms. Portman into a pearl-clutching frenzy. And, yes, I did read the whole vegan starter magazine that PETA sent me.

The truth is, I'm not looking to make a statement -- I'm just poor and lazy. When I bought meat, I did all the prep work, portioning it out in Ziploc bags, but I'd never remembered to defrost it for that evening's dinner. So, it'd just get crammed into the back corner of the freezer, little ice crystals

forming on the flesh. Wasted.

It's much easier to just come home, throw together a salad and toss some tofu or garbanzo beans on top. Or, to pop a frozen veggie burger in the broiler (8 minutes, each side). I got home early today, and decided to make a pasta dish. It turned out so pretty, I took a picture. For the record, that's whole wheat penne tossed with pesto, tomatoes, basil, green onions, and Tofurkey Italian sausage.

Not every vegan is a bat shit-crazy, crystal-gripping hippie with a sheeps-over-peeps mentality (not to be confused with Peeps®, which are not vegan), and even PETA has had to admit that it does take the more practical route (WARNING: graphic images) rather than clinging to its zealotry. (Sea kittens? Really?) But, I just want to eat my arugula in peace, and I can do without the judgy looks and thinly-veiled commentary.

Meatlessly yours...B

What a CSSpool!

2009-03-30T23:36:00.000-07:00

When I decided to start this blog (36 hours ago), I had the lofty notion that I would brush up on my HTML coding and learn CSS so that I could properly design my personal space on the interwebz. I was not deterred by the fact that I barely have time to read my 50-page Contracts assignments or memorize the rules of federal procedure. Just as my lack of photo editing software would not stop me from creating a mediocre work of banner art, I was convinced I could overcome the time constraints and learn a new language.

Three hours into my banner art project on a Sharpie-high, I started pouring through online tutorials and practicing my new knowledge in TextEdit. At 2AM, I finally shut down the computer resolved to pick up where I left off following Monday's classes. But, after a sleepless night being chased in my dreams by tags and floating elements, I decided it really wasn't worth it.

So, here it is. I salvaged my banner, I settled on a pre-fab template, and you're going to read it or you're going to starve...intellectually. There are children in Ethiopia who don't have access to this blog!

And, yes, I was channeling my mother for that last bit.

Hyper-Textually Marked Up...B