Modern foot-binding for Suri Cruise

The 3-year-old can't run away if she's in heels.

I'm Too Sexy

Snuggies showed up on the catwalk at New York Fashion Week.

I weep for this nation.

Hump Day Hype

I'm going to start a tradition. Today is Hump Day which marks the halfway point of my week's worth of bad decisions. So, every Wednesday, I'm going to promote something that saves my ass on a regular basis. Hopefully, someone out there can learn from my poor judgment. Power through the learning curve.

Being a tremendous music snob, I like to go to live shows at smaller venues to see relatively unknown bands. A few weeks ago (here comes my shameless plug for good souds) I saw Hot Leg, and last night I saw The Hypo Twins for the second time. But the next morning, as I am picking up the mess of clothes that I just threw on the floor in my rush to get to bed, I notice the same smell emanating from the mountain of fabric: a mixture of my perfume, gin, smoke, and sometimes the Eau de Douchebag body spray of whatever lonely-heart was trying to air hump me on the dance floor.

So today, I am hyping laundry day.

-Because I am convinced that hot water heals all things.

-Because it gives you a chance to appreciate your neighbour's drug addiction when you have to lug your shit down the street to the laundromat because he's cracked open the coin bank again. Seriously, dude! I will pitch in a dollar a week and take up collection with the other tenants if you'll just leave the machine alone.

-Because it's like baptism without the tears and salvation. It washes away your sins (unless they're really, really bad), and makes your wardrobe feel new...ish.

-Because it reminds you that you're an adult and therefore, some parts of your life must suck.

-Because the long-sleeved, white blouse goes well with jeans and with your suit, but the bar stamp ink from your wrist is not part of the hire-me look.

-Because wiping down your clothes with dryer sheets is no longer a rung on the hygiene ladder. Shut up, I mourned its passing.

-Because it's only sexy to wear your boyfriend's jeans around the house. It's bad taste to wear them around the town.

-Because down-time waiting for the cycle to finish is a perfect excuse to catch up with trashy celebrity gossip.

-Because it gives you a chance to sing this awesome song:

So fresh and so clean clean...B