The Daily Special 9.21.09

Oh, it's been a while since I've done one of these. Sorry. Can't promise it'll hold out all week, either. Law school. Ass-kicking. Name-taking. It's all very time-consuming.

• Don't tase me, bro. Mississippi police take down a wayward emu. Yes, emu.

• "The Office" is back, and it's on Hulu! PARKOUR! PARKOUR!

• The tracks on the soundtrack for the upcoming New Moon have finally been revealed. I'd like to take this moment to slap Stephanie Meyer and the series' bat-shit crazy fans for associating with some of my favourite bands.

• Just how much pot does one put in the brownies to create a Matrix-style sense of bullet time and death?