Topsy Turvy World

Dear Westboro Baptist "Church":

What does it say about your organization when the KKK has the moral high ground?

"It's the soldier that fought and died and gave them that right to free speech," said Dennis LaBonte, the self-described "Imperial Wizard" of the KKK group that he said he formed several years ago.

Who needs a drink?

Do you feel me?

The Texas legislature caved under federal pressure and pulled their anti-groping bill.

The bill, HB1937 would have made it a crime for security personnel to touch a person's private areas without probable cause, effectively putting a stop to the invasive -- and offensive -- TSA pat downs in Texas airports.

The Department of Justice responded by threatening

to shut down flights to and from the state.

The epitaph on the Fourth Amendment will read:

All I wanted was a little probable cause.

The Daily Special 9.21.09

Oh, it's been a while since I've done one of these. Sorry. Can't promise it'll hold out all week, either. Law school. Ass-kicking. Name-taking. It's all very time-consuming.

• Don't tase me, bro. Mississippi police take down a wayward emu. Yes, emu.

• "The Office" is back, and it's on Hulu! PARKOUR! PARKOUR!

• The tracks on the soundtrack for the upcoming New Moon have finally been revealed. I'd like to take this moment to slap Stephanie Meyer and the series' bat-shit crazy fans for associating with some of my favourite bands.

• Just how much pot does one put in the brownies to create a Matrix-style sense of bullet time and death?

Power Tripping

I don't trust our government to efficiently screw in a light bulb, so I certainly don't think it should have anything to do with policing the internet. But that's just what Congress wants to allow the president to do.

The President. One man. With the power to control our access to information and communication. Think it'll never happen?

S.773 drafted by Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D-WV) appears to permit the president to seize temporary control of private-sector networks during a so-called cybersecurity emergency.

First and foremost, I want to know exactly what constitutes a "cybersecurity emergency." I can not think of a single doomsday scenario that would justify turning any region of the United States into Burma, even temporarily.

This is bad news.

No. Just...no.

This news about a Kings of Leon remix album just makes me want to punch babies.

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