Vegan, eh? Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Over the past couple weeks, I've been transitioning to a vegan diet.  However, I've been very reluctant to share this information with people, which may strike my friends as strange considering I have no compunction about labeling myself a Republican and a Jesus-lover (but I drink a little).  The problem is, if I say I'm vegan, I usually get one of two reactions.

Ohhh! *sideways glance*  Oh.

This is the reaction I got from my sister when she asked what I was having for dinner one night, followed the next day by a cordial email from my dad with the non sequitur "So, I hear you've gone vegan" nestled between casual questions about how school is going and if I'd found a job yet.  I can just picture my mom standing in the kitchen with her coffee in-hand telling my dad, "I knew this would happen when she decided to move to California!"

ZOMG! IKR! Have you seen what they do to those poor chickens?!

No, I don't want to sign your petition.  It's not that I don't care about the chickens, it's that...well, yeah, I don't care about the chickens.  Or Natalie Portman and her line of hemp shoes.  In fact, I'll risk gout eating a 64oz. steak and a side of foie gras if it'll send Ms. Portman into a pearl-clutching frenzy.  And, yes, I did read the whole vegan starter magazine that PETA sent me.

The truth is, I'm not looking to make a statement -- I'm just poor and lazy.  When I bought meat, I did all the prep work, portioning it out in Ziploc bags, but I'd never remembered to defrost it for that evening's dinner.  So, it'd just get crammed into the back corner of the freezer, little ice crystals

forming on the flesh.  Wasted.  

It's much easier to just come home, throw together a salad and toss some tofu or garbanzo beans on top.  Or, to pop a frozen veggie burger in the broiler (8 minutes, each side).  I got home early today, and decided to make a pasta dish.  It turned out so pretty, I took a picture.  For the record, that's whole wheat penne tossed with pesto, tomatoes, basil, green onions, and Tofurkey Italian sausage.

Not every vegan is a bat shit-crazy, crystal-gripping hippie with a sheeps-over-peeps mentality (not to be confused with Peeps®, which are not vegan), and even PETA has had to admit that it does take the more practical route (WARNING: graphic images) rather than clinging to its zealotry.  (Sea kittens? Really?)  But, I just want to eat my arugula in peace, and I can do without the judgy looks and thinly-veiled commentary.

Meatlessly yours...B

What a CSSpool!

When I decided to start this blog (36 hours ago), I had the lofty notion that I would brush up on my HTML coding and learn CSS so that I could properly design my personal space on the interwebz.  I was not deterred by the fact that I barely have time to read my 50-page Contracts assignments or memorize the rules of federal procedure.  Just as my lack of photo editing software would not stop me from creating a mediocre work of banner art, I was convinced I could overcome the time constraints and learn a new language.

Three hours into my banner art project on a Sharpie-high, I started pouring through online tutorials and practicing my new knowledge in TextEdit.  At 2AM, I finally shut down the computer resolved to pick up where I left off following Monday's classes.  But, after a sleepless night being chased in my dreams by tags and floating elements, I decided it really wasn't worth it.

So, here it is.  I salvaged my banner, I settled on a pre-fab template, and you're going to read it or you're going to starve...intellectually.  There are children in Ethiopia who don't have access to this blog!

And, yes, I was channeling my mother for that last bit.

Hyper-Textually Marked Up...B